Sunday, November 24, 2013

Seasons of life


Seasons come and seasons go, we look forward to each season with regret and happiness. We embrace the joys and challenges that each season has to give, we grow.
I was with a group of teachers not too long ago and one of them was so excited to live in an area, once again with seasons. She anticipated the scents of cinnamon and pumpkin, shorter days and warm, cozy fires warming her house. Awe, seasons. As with the yearly seasons, seasons of life bring joys and challenges. For me, autumn joys are raking the leaves every weekend in October, keeping the gutters clear for all the expected rain. Most of all, warm foods like hearty soups and spice tea.
Presently, I have entered a new season, one I have watch and supported others walk through as well.  I am a parent of grown children and aging parents. This season, like others, seems to hold a new role for me as I am sandwiched between these generations.
I am learning with my oldest son a new territory of communicating I am more attentive to listen and offer feedback when he asks. Of course, this learning is a result of a misunderstanding between us. I thought I was stating my opinion of what I thought he should do; he thought I was telling him to do something. Any who…. I’m learning a place of release, letting go of the provider I have been, let him make money decisions and purchase that he wants. I won’t be buying him shoes.
 I’m learning to put his needs and passions ahead of my mommy desires. Learning, to listen with my heart, releasing him to find his way in this world to become.
In reflection, it is the same with my parents. I need to listen to them for how they want to live out their remaining years. I am releasing them to become more dependent on me; I am taking on the role as caretaker.  A release to have them communicates to me how they will die. A release, so I can find my way without them.
This season of letting go and hanging on will bring its joys and challenges with a growth for becomingjayne.

Friday, July 12, 2013

Being Enough, not just about being single


I have adopted the saying, “I am Enough” as my life mantra. Believing that I posses talent, intelligence, personality, strength to become,  that I’m not lacking, I am not less than anyone else. Knowing I am enough means I continue to grow and cultivate my being. I didn’t really attach the saying to my singleness, so when a someone made the comment that I would have to take down my ‘I am Enough’ saying when I move, because “The new owner might not be single”, I was a little taken a back.  Being enough has to do with my self esteem. Brene' Brown, the person who inspired me, isn’t single so I never felt that being single meant I wasn’t enough. I sometimes forget that I am defined by my singleness, and others are defined by their jobs or sexual orientations or disabilities or wealth.  In becoming Jayne, I want to look at the heart, character and courage of myself and others to encourage a sense of value. Being married or in a relationship doesn’t mean I am instantly enough. Being enough comes from within, my heart and mind and soul.  And knowing I am enough, single or not, is the start.  Cheers to I am enough…………becoming  Jayne